Refining my storyboard (wines tail)

After this weeks meeting, I need to refine my storyboard. As J.K. Riki (2013) states, 'Storyboarding is all about telling a story with one image' therefore, I have decided to start refining my storyboard by analyzing where I need to improve for each panel, before drawing up the refined version. 

'Every scene must serve a purpose' (Konowalchuk, 2011) in 'Wine Tail' each scene needs to show the process of winemaking, and more importantly show each crow is different, personality-wise. Each scene also needs to show apart of the secret crow society. In my scene, I have crows juicing grapes with their feet (a wine process), one crow juicing grapes passionately in a dancing fashion (personality), and then pulls in anther crow to dance. 

Grieb (2018) highlights the importance of character performance, as the characters are the story. Their poses shows emotions, relationships, and action. My character action in this shot is stepping on grapes. However, If I removed the background and just had the silhouette, this would be unclear. His body language is stiff, with a lack of emotion. To improve, his body language needs to be more exaggerated and expressive. 

I also need to improve the composition; this crow only meets one of the focus points on the 3x3 grid. Characters need room to move (Grieb, 2018); however, this crow has a lack of space between him. Ward, (2014) suggests using grids to map out layout to help position characters better and improve the use of the environment. Furthermore, my layout is rather 'flat', which makes the scene lack depth, use of foreground and background can add layers which are more exciting and makes the world more believable (Ward, 2014). 

This panel was supposed to show the camera panning across. However, this panel shows lousy composition. Poorly framed, and the body language is relatively uninteresting. To improve this part, I need to make the character show more personality, more shocked or weirded out instead of slightly interested. Eyeline directed to the right, I do not need to pan, I can cut to what this character is looking at, using eyeliner/horizontal line as suggested by Ward, (2014). Furthermore, Konowalchu (2011) tips avoid moving camera. Currently, this shot doesn't have any purpose, other than introducing the second character and showing contrast between their personalities. To do this more effectively, I need to add more personality through posing to the character one that is contrasting; perhaps introverted and shy. 

This is the shot where the second character is introduced. Once again, the crow doesn't meet the rule of thirds points properly; and the first characters tail is still in shot (what doesn't need to be seen), the full focus isn't on the new crow as there are distracting parts. Additionally he has lack of looking space and movement space. 

In this shot, the crow is grabbing the other to dance with. Once again poor composition; as he is out of frame, and not in the rule of thirds. This is also an important action and should be centered (Konowalchuk, 2011). A reaction shot of the crow being pulled in might be more interesting.

Between the dances moves, I could cut and get in closer and change anglels  to make the sceen more interesting. Closer tigher framed shots could also make it seem more intimate.

Overall what would massively improve my plan is doing my storyboard landscape so I can experiment with the full amount of space. I also think that I should use the movement of flight more within the scene, as it brings more believability to the characters being birds. 

bib:

Grieb, W. (2018). 17 expert storyboard tips for TV animation. [online] Creative Bloq. Available at: https://www.creativebloq.com/advice/storyboard-tips [Accessed 27 Jan. 2020].

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J.K. Riki (2013). Improve Your Storyboards Instantly. [online] Animator Island. Available at: https://www.animatorisland.com/improve-your-storyboards-instantly/?v=79cba1185463 [Accessed 27 Jan. 2020].

‌Konowalchuk, W. (2011). Storyboarding Tutorial - "The Do's and Don'ts" | Skwigly Animation Magazine. [online] Skwigly Animation Magazine. Available at: https://www.skwigly.co.uk/storyboarding-tutorial-pt-1-the-dos-and-donts/ [Accessed 27 Jan. 2020].

Hunt, P. (2017). Master the art of storyboarding. [online] Creative Bloq. Available at: https://www.creativebloq.com/advice/master-the-art-of-storyboarding [Accessed 27 Jan. 2020].

‌Ward, C. (2014). 10 Tips for Creating Storyboards from Dreamworks. [online] The Beat: A Blog by PremiumBeat. Available at: https://www.premiumbeat.com/blog/10-tips-for-creating-storyboards-from-dreamworks/ [Accessed 27 Jan. 2020]

Blair, P. (1994). Cartoon Animation. 1st ed. Tustin, Calif.: Walter Foster Publishing, Inc.

‌Katz, S.D. (1991). Film Directing Shot by Shot. 1St ed. Studio City, Ca: Michael Wiese Productions.

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